I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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