Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
