You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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