I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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