Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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