Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
