evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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