Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
