I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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