That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
