The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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