he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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