My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
