He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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