i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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