I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
