New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We need to get me chipped asap
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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