I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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