Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
