SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
