so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
