I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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