i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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