I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
