Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
