I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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