I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
