There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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