so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize