Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
