thus making me awesome and them whores
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
