This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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