My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
