Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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