I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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