Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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