I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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