He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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