how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
