shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
