Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
