All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
