I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
