i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
