At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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