they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
