i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so that wasnt chicken after all
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
