can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
