Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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