I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
