they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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