i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
