It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize