dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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