What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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