Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
