Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
