I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
