She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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