grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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