last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
