I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
