He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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